So the school year has started and life in Mongolia is the same but entirely different. That may seem strange, but of course it isn't. The place is the same. The people are the same. The students (other than some new 5th graders and some graduated 9th graders) are the same. The weather is the same. The daily routine is the same.
And that is exactly why things are so different. I am experiencing all of these things again, but (dare I say) this time with savvy. I'm no longer the outsider here. Not completely, at least. I can express opinion and laugh at certain idiocies in Mongolian culture. It's not intolerance. It's like laughing at Miley Cyrus licking a hammer. When you think about the culture that allowed that shit to happen, you have a bit of a crisis of belonging. Like "do I really consider myself a part of that?" And as much as I'd like to share some of the idiocies I've seen here, it doesn't seem fair to you or to Mongolian culture. And that's the point, I think.
I don't belong to America anymore. Which is really strange to me. I can laugh about America with my American friends, I can laugh about Mongolia with my Mongolian friends. But if it crosses cultures, if the laughter is directed at the other, I find myself easily offended. If one of my friends here calls me a "rich, stingy American" in a laughing way, my mind descends, my palms itch and I look at him silently.
Well hello there, American Ben, nice of you to show up. What's got you so offended? You are a rich American. At least compared to everyone around you now. And no one would be at fault for calling you stingy at some point. Well that's not the problem. He doesn't belong to that culture. He has no right to criticize it. But you have a right to criticize his because you've lived in it for 18 months? Damn straight, I do! I've earned that as a PCV here. That's the nature of belonging to a culture. So. The nature of belonging to a culture is...being able to criticize it. That's right.
Hmmm.
This is certainly true for Americans. We are a self-deprecating culture. Why else would we create shows like "Wipeout", get the fattest and dumbest Americans to participate, then air it all around the world? Did we think "Wipeout" would make us look smarter? Did we think it showed us in a better light? No, we wanted to make fun of ourselves and knew we could make money doing it.
But that deep sentiment isn't true of all cultures. Mongolians may laugh at themselves, but they don't ridicule themselves. Their idiocies lie in tradition. Sure it doesn't make sense to share a cup in celebrations. We know all about health and the spread of germs. But this is our culture. They laugh at themselves with pride. We know the world does it that way. We know it makes more sense to do it that way. We know that's smarter. But our parents and their parents did it this way. It may be antiquated, it may be more dangerous, hell, we may look stupid doing it. Whatever, still gonna do it.
I have to ask myself, do I make fun of Mongolian culture with pride too? When they tell me that eating sugary, dried milk is good for my teeth, do I decline laughing at their foolishness or do I accept laughing at our foolishness? And do I sometimes actually believe things that I know are wrong? Truth is, I'm American at heart and Mongolian in reality. I can't help sarcastically deploring my culture, but I can't ignore it's influence over me either.
Hey Ben, when was the last time you used your foot to move something? When was the last time you stepped on someone's foot and didn't shake their hand? What?!? That shit's bad juju, man. Dirty. Rude. Freaking dirty rude...God, who came up with that brilliant idea? I'm a runner. My feet are as useful a part of me as my arms, maybe more so. And since when did accidentally tapping someone's foot mean you were mortal enemies? It was a freaking accident man, sorry. Welcome to socialization, round two.
